


Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance (Another heartache, another failed romance)

by Fictionalmeirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionalmeirl/pseuds/Fictionalmeirl
Summary: Lexa falters on the biggest night of her life. But Clarke, as always, knows how to pick up the pieces.Inspired by the incredible Freddie Mercury and Queen, and the song "The Show Must Go On".





	Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance (Another heartache, another failed romance)

**Author's Note:**

> Here goes everything. Feedback would be greatly appreciated - and sorry in advance for any typos. I'm not great at proofing my own writing.

> _"The show must go on_
> 
> _The show must go on, yeah_
> 
> _Inside my heart is breaking_
> 
> _My make-up may be flaking_
> 
> _But my smile still stays on"_
> 
>  

  
"Ah ha!" a sudden voice exclaims. Loud, almost too loud in the stillness of the night air, if not for the low hum of music bleeding through the wall _and the deafening roar of unbidden thoughts and images drowning her..._

"So", it continues, distracting her from her raging inner turmoil. Closer still, "here's where you've been hiding your gorgeous butt all night".

Lexa let's out a long suffering breadth. Because, _of course, it's that voice._

She drops her head back against the wall behind her, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. _Breathe._ _Deep ...breadth... in... and, oh -_ her train of thought is abruptly derailed as her nostrils fill with an oh, so familiar, heady, torturous embrace of orange blossom.

Reluctantly, she opens her eyes.

Because, _of course_ , Clarke has found her. Clarke who stands too close to her as usual. Clarke who she can never ignore, " _ever, Lexa_ ". Clarke who tilts her head and crosses her arms to guard against the cold. Clarke who looks down at Lexa's slouched form with a piercing curiousity. _Wonderful, oblivious, caring, care-free, sensual, frustrating Clarke..._

The silence stretches for a beat. Clarke, well-versed, watches, waits. Another beat; and a third, before Lexa finds weak words spilling unwillingly from her lips. Words chased out by the press of unwelcomed thoughts surging once more in in her mind. _Because, of course..._

"I - I don't... I'm not..." Lexa clears her throat. With a measured breadth, she tries again, "I'm not hiding."

Clarke quirks an eyebrow in response, the slight flare of her nostrils giving away her amusement, or frustration. Or both? Lexa can't tell, _she can never seem to tell..._

"Fine," Clarke says instead, her voice light. "Clearly, you're not _hiding_ , because I found you". Lexa can't help but give a small smile at the terrible joke. "But, I see you're not denying having a gorgeous butt" she finishes with a wink and cheeky smile.

"Clarke" Lexa admonishes weakly, the suppressed eye roll, the whine and the teasing a familiar dance between them.

"Fine, fine. We'll agree to disagree," Clarke retorts with a placating gesture and mock exasperation.

Another silence stretches out then. More comfortable, Clarke's teasing and her presence already calming Lexa's warring mind, _always_. But Lexa knows Clarke, whose gaze has now drifted skywards to the stars sprinkled across the dark night's canvas. Lexa knows Clarke is waiting for her to explain. So, she pulls in another breadth, stares resolutely out at the dark, sprawling lawns in front of her, and begins with a surprisingly calm voice: "I saw her - them - inside, and I just - I couldn't. I suddenly couldn't bear it. I had to get away. Get out. There were too many thoughts, memories" Lexa runs a frustrated hand through her hair as she adds, "I thought I was done with it."

With a shaky exhale, and a shudder that may or may not be the night's cold, she looks up at Clarke, who is looking right back at her again with a steady gaze.

"I had hoped" Clarke pauses, begins again, "I saw them, too late. I had hoped you hadn't, hoped you were out here for any other reason". She offers a gentle, sympathetic smile as she continues, "I'm sorry, Lexa. You shouldn't have to deal with things like this. Not tonight, not ever..." she trails off, unfinished, turning her head to look off into the distance with a sigh.

_And what can Lexa even say back to that? What is there to say?_ Before she can even fathom a response, Clarke's gaze abruptly snaps back to her, a steely, worrisome glint her in her eyes.

"You know what?" Clarke begins again, louder and determined, her arms unwrapping as she begins to pace. _Not unlike a stalking lioness_ , Lexa thinks. "Screw them. This is your night. Yours, and yours alone! So. whatever." Clarke turns to her, sudden and sharp, and with a devilish smile, husks confidently, "we'll show them".

Lexa, who, thus far, has simply watched Clarke, both in awe and with growing trepidation, slowly finds Clarke's words catching up with her. And, like a bucket of cold ice suddenly spilled over her, Lexa realises what Clarke is planning.

"Clarke. No." Lexa is firm, but when has that ever worked. Not when she would stand, staring down at Clarke, and certainly not now, seated before this raging lioness.

"No" Lexa tries again, but Clarke remains unmoving. "No", Lexa says once last time, with finality, but for whom she's no longer sure. Although, Clarke has not said a word, Lexa, somehow, finds she has, as usual, gone full circle monologue. _Isn't this a familiar feeling._

"And why not Lexa?" Clarke's question interrupted her thoughts.

_So, so many reasons... reasons why we should, why we shouldn't..._ Lexa thinks. But weak, unconvincing words leave Lexa once again:

"Because, you aren't.. I mean you don't... you're not -" Her ineffectual stumbling is mercifully, and unsurprisingly, cut down.

"Does it matter?" Clarke says sharply, but with a shrug almost as an afterthought. "It's not like they'll ever know", she adds, tilting her head briefly towards the door she came through for good measure.

Before Lexa can argue further, Clarke steps forward. With a reassuring smile she reaches out. Her arm extended to Lexa, palm open, and a soft and gentle gaze beckoning her.

"Come on", she urges, gesturing with her fingers, "everyone's waiting. This is your night." Her smile grows again, and with a mischievous glint she adds, "Let's make it one they'll never forget". _One you'll never forget._

Lexa sigh.

Despite all she had accomplished, all that was to be celebrated for her today, Lexa, as always, found herself giving in Clarke. Giving in, just like all those times Clarke would make her bunk class or force her to be the patient when they played doctor.

Lexa takes a deep breathe in as she gazes into Clarke's eyes once more, the deep blue so safe, and yet so, so ruinous. She takes hold of Clarke's hand then, without another thought. With a soft smile and light tug, she is brought to her feet.

This is your night. _This is my night._

_Does it matter?_

As Clarke pulls open the door, the dulled hum of music suddenly bursts to life. Lyrics escape through the doorways, and swiftly curl themselves around her heart. She hears them, but wills herself to not listen, unconsciously tightening her grip on Clarke's hand.

Clarke looks back over her shoulder then, the room's low light and neon bursts washing over her skin as she leads Lexa, deeper ... _and deeper into the abyss_ , Lexa thinks, _enraptured by the flashing light swirling in her eyes; the gleam that is so simply Clarke._

_And does it matter?_  echoes in her mind once more, and f _uck it_ , Lexa thinks, as she welcomes the lavender's treacherous embrace and let's the words of song wash over her and the beat reverberate through her soul:

>  
> 
> _"Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance_
> 
> _Another heartache, another failed romance..."_


End file.
